Rambling Man

Note: Reader beware. I have been working on this on and off for the last 3 hours. I am not happy with how it has turned out. I'm afraid that it is unclear and rambley. I am just having a great amount of difficulty expressing myself today. Good luck.


Rather then just comment on Jane's previous post, I've decided to post myself. This weekend... was amazing. It was peaceful and relaxing and fun! Sexually it was great as well.

I'm gonna cut to the chase. Regarding oral sex. Listen - I'm a man. Am I going to turn it down? Umm no. But do I have to have it? Shockingly, no to that as well. I really have a hard time understanding though because I absolutely love going down on her. Everything about it. Ironically, now I don't want her to go down on me because now I would feel that she is doing it just to appease me. That's not what I want. If she does it I want her to want to do it not just to make me happy.

With regards to what I requested last night (her using the vibrator), I don't know what I expected. I've read that to truly know what your partner likes, watch them please themselves. So I thought "what the hell". Let me say it this way... She never ever asks anything of me in bed. She never says "try this" or "do this" or "I want this". And honestly that is almost worse then if she constantly was bossing me around. To be blunt, for me, sex should be like good improv comedy (bare with me). In improv, you always agree with what the other person says. The second a negative comes out the act loses something, it loses that magical spark that means that anything could happen. That being said, if you don't like the direction the routine is going, you twist the request to an area you are more comfortable with or you push it back onto the requester. The point is, positives move the routine forward, negatives stop it. Sex should be the same... except without the laughter.

Once again I know we are very different creatures sexually. If you look at the two of us that is probably where Jane and I differ the most. I don't think there is anything I wouldn't try if she asked. I'm not expecting her to be the same way. I know that she isn't comfortable in her skin. I just don't understand why and it drives me crazy. She is my ideal. I love her more deeply then you one could imagine. And I want her to be completely comfortable if for no one else but herself and me!

As I've said in prior posts there is a fire that occasionally burns in her eyes of mad lust and desire. The question is does it not show itself because of her or me? If its her, I want to know what she needs: If its me, I want her to tell me what she wants. I can be very accomadating.