15 Silly, Stupid Sexual Things about John
Okay... 15 silly, stupid sexual things. So here goes.
1) The first time Jane and I were going to have sex I was so nervous I couldn't keep "it" up. As a note, I've never had that problem since.
2) Once while Jane and I were having sex in missionary position during the midst of passion, mid-trust, our dog licked us from her ass to my ass.
3) I have hair on one ass cheek but not the other. I know weird!
4) The first time I masturbated I was in the shower and it was a complete accident... guess I thought I was really dirty.
5) Once in high school I accidentally left porn out where my mother found it.
6) In honor of St. Patrick's day I tried to dye my pubic hair green and surprise Jane. Well rather then purchasing green dye I got glow in the dark dye which looked freakish in the light and dark. After about 30 seconds into the application I had some kind of allergic reaction to the dye and every where that it had touched felt like I was on fire! It will be a long time before I try that again!
7) I have had sex with a pillow folded in half.
8) Whenever we are driving somewhere at night I always try to look in the windows of peoples houses and hotels hoping to catch a glimpse of something. Sometimes I do.
9) While going commando I have gotten my hair caught in the zipper. That hurts like hell!
10) I can't stand having single random hairs on my body. I rip them out!
11) A previous girlfriend and I went to the movies to make out. After asking which movie was the longest we made our selection and sat in the back of the theater. The movie we made out the entirety of... Philadelphia. (isn't that just sick?)
12) Okay so I've posted this before but for those who haven't seen it, while staying at the Sheraton in Downtown Atlanta, in the throws of passion, I was trying to get leverage and ended up ripping the head-board off the wall. It didn't even slow us down.
13) Although I don't always act it, and Jane might not believe it, I am pretty self conscious of my body. I don't have nearly as much confidence as I act like I do.
14) I often times have an image of exactly how sex should start. When things deviate from that plan (as they always do) I get discouraged. I think I've seen too much media that tells me how romance should be.
15) After any kind of exercise I want sex. Golf, rock climbing, weight lifting anything - I want carnal love!
Okay so all of them weren't necessarily silly or funny but hey I got it done! Don't think less of me! But you can laugh... Hell I'm laughing!
1) The first time Jane and I were going to have sex I was so nervous I couldn't keep "it" up. As a note, I've never had that problem since.
2) Once while Jane and I were having sex in missionary position during the midst of passion, mid-trust, our dog licked us from her ass to my ass.
3) I have hair on one ass cheek but not the other. I know weird!
4) The first time I masturbated I was in the shower and it was a complete accident... guess I thought I was really dirty.
5) Once in high school I accidentally left porn out where my mother found it.
6) In honor of St. Patrick's day I tried to dye my pubic hair green and surprise Jane. Well rather then purchasing green dye I got glow in the dark dye which looked freakish in the light and dark. After about 30 seconds into the application I had some kind of allergic reaction to the dye and every where that it had touched felt like I was on fire! It will be a long time before I try that again!
7) I have had sex with a pillow folded in half.
8) Whenever we are driving somewhere at night I always try to look in the windows of peoples houses and hotels hoping to catch a glimpse of something. Sometimes I do.
9) While going commando I have gotten my hair caught in the zipper. That hurts like hell!
10) I can't stand having single random hairs on my body. I rip them out!
11) A previous girlfriend and I went to the movies to make out. After asking which movie was the longest we made our selection and sat in the back of the theater. The movie we made out the entirety of... Philadelphia. (isn't that just sick?)
12) Okay so I've posted this before but for those who haven't seen it, while staying at the Sheraton in Downtown Atlanta, in the throws of passion, I was trying to get leverage and ended up ripping the head-board off the wall. It didn't even slow us down.
13) Although I don't always act it, and Jane might not believe it, I am pretty self conscious of my body. I don't have nearly as much confidence as I act like I do.
14) I often times have an image of exactly how sex should start. When things deviate from that plan (as they always do) I get discouraged. I think I've seen too much media that tells me how romance should be.
15) After any kind of exercise I want sex. Golf, rock climbing, weight lifting anything - I want carnal love!
Okay so all of them weren't necessarily silly or funny but hey I got it done! Don't think less of me! But you can laugh... Hell I'm laughing!
posted by John Doe at
7:11 PM
1 Comments:
hehheheh some of these were great!
By
Anonymous, at 9:12 PM
Post a Comment
<< Home